I start localized radiation this week. It involves outlining parts of my body with blue sharpie. That’s for the entire four weeks, not just a one time thing. My shirts, my pillow case and the toilet seat are all turning blue. I don’t know what I’m going to do.
The people of MD Anderson have found yet one more indignity for me to endure. Maybe they think I’m not really commited to this and I need one more test.
I’m so glad Zach is here with me this weekend. It helps with the lonliness. Cards and e-mails would help with this also. I keep thinking I’ve unknownly offended large groups of people. So, this is me begging.
I have a lot of dead skin around my fingers which makes it difficult to type. Also, fishing for change is an adventure.
That’s it for now. Don’t know when I’ll write again. Thanks for listening.
P.S. from Zach
Shh, don’t tell Dad. I rewrote the contact page so that you can e-mail Rick directly if you want. I thought this would be handy since we took down the Contact Info page. Filling out the form takes all of 2 minutes, and participation is not limited. 
Just click the contact link.
Rick, I just stopped into the office to water some of the plants outside and ,being fathers day I rermembered that your son would be with you this weekend. although this is an underrated holiday I believe he is probably making it a very special day for you regardless of your illness. It makes me consider how precious our own health is and the respect that you are showing and depth of fighting to return your life to good health.. It also reminds me of how proud we can be of our children and their success – and tribulations of course-”dad my tgire is flat and needs changed. can you help me ? also I can’t afford a new one ! ” What are you going to do??? anyway you notes here are very special to all as we try to keep each other informend on your progress. Sometimes the only response we can have to you at the time of your postings is a tear and more prayers. We are all on that wavelength. I can only imagine how difficult of a time it is going through this with no one there. we all feel the helplessness that Tracy and Zack must feel. somehow…. Anyway I’ d better go it is real busy in town this week with the seies in Omaha, especially with Nebraska playing and being pretty good. I’m rooting for Texas or a team from Texas I figure being a Cub fan that might just jinx the hell out of them. Rick happy fathers day. I will get your list of vacation donors together this week and let you have it. PLEASE don”t try to respond back to them until you start feeling healthy and strong again. People are doing this to show solidarity and support so you can be healthy again. One more day closer. Later.
Hey Rick -
I echo Bill Lewis’ sentiments – I’m glad Zach is with you in Houston on Father’s Day, even though celebrating may seem like an inappropriate word. Although maybe celebrating is right on . . . perhaps having Zach share today is the best gift either of you can receive.
It’s hard for any of us to know the right words; they seem trite and way too positive and totally lacking in the “been there, done that” department. We try but the the simple truth is is this: we HAVEN’T been there and we have no earthly idea what you’re going through. Still, we all want you to know how much you mean to us, that we love you, and that we are trying to communicate those feelings . . . even if the words sometimes get in the way.
I, for one, am trusting that despite the awkward words, my emotions and intentions will somehow make it through to the other end; that despite the my frustration of not being there with you, that you will know this: You are a terrific husband and a great father. Zach’s grandfather’s lessons are shining through him now. And most importantly . . . God has been bomabrded with prayers for you.
I know He’s listening.
Stay well . . . and stay ready to receive the second chance you deserve.
Love,
John